This post is specifically dedicated to one of my favorite topics – revisiting a past hookup/relationship. It happens whenever you’re bored and maybe feeling nostalgic, and this is the way it usually goes in my head: “I’ve already dated him once/fucked him so it’s not really a big deal if I do it one more time.” April agrees… her way of thinking is that you aren’t adding another failed relationship/bad date/number to your sex roster so you might as well.
Well hillarious as it may sound, I picked from the higher end of April’s WEIRDNESS METER and decided to go out with David last night. I won’t say it is the best decision I’ve ever made… but he and I did have a lot of fun together back in February. Plus I was bored to tears. He suggested going out in the village, I agreed to meet him there. He looked good… I’m not going to lie. But I looked better. I had on a yellow tank and jeans, with a beige little summer scarf. First conversation after he got us drinks:
David: Why are you wearing a scarf… it’s the middle of summer.
Me: Scarves are fierce.
David: THOSE (stares at my boobs) are fierce. I’m about to rip that off you.
What can I say, I’m a sucker for romance. We did a little bar hopping, made fun of people, he tried to PDA with me – which I hate. I hate being those kids that make other people think “GET A ROOM!” I gave in and kissed him a little bit. The main problem with David is that he doesn’t have much of a tolerance for alcohol. Now since the majority of men I’ve dated have been borderline alcoholics, this is slightly annoying to me. He actually texted me last night that he threw up. And we had like maybe 5 drinks each. After the last bar, we decided to get some pizza and head home. But to which apartment? His in the East Village or mine on the Upper East Side?
I told him he could come over. He said he couldn’t because his MOM was coming to his place around 1, and he didn’t want to have to wake up early and rush home. I used the “I don’t have my contacts” excuse, and said I didn’t want to have to rush out of his apartment in fear of his MOM walking in and seeing me in bed with her son. I’m too old to do the walk of shame, after college it is just unacceptable and uncomfortable. The idea of putting on heels and a halter top at 10 am with mascara all over my face and a hangover makes me nauseous.
He protested for like 20 minutes until I literally threw myself into a cab. We texted a bit and promised to hang out soon. I almost met up with Timothy but decided to pass… I was losing my buzz and not in the mood to get my breasts eye fucked for another couple hours. My ex had called me 3 times while I was out, and left a completely uninteligable voicemail. I called him back, worried that something could be wrong (not really worried, more just curious.) I got a text this morning, inviting me to a wedding and asking me to bring him a new pair of the sandals he bought last time he was here, because they broke at a bachelor party last night. Yeah fucker, buying you shit and doing you favors is at the TOP of my list of priorities.
I will be home in his neck of the woods in one month, and one day. I haven’t decided yet how things will go down… I know I have complete control over the situation, but I am doubting my abilities to make a good decision.
Back to David… April says I’m not doing anything wrong, it’s just having fun. I am enjoying myself, true, I just worry that I am leading him on, because I know he is into me. Maybe more into me than I’m into him. Plus there’s another thing… David had sexual issues when we attempted to hook up. Yes he was drunk, blah blah. My ex made me pretty demanding when it comes to sex, because he would be so drunk he couldn’t speak yet would still be able to fuck me into satisfaction. Let’s just say out of all of our problems, not one of them existed in the bedroom. Now I understand that all men aren’t hung like a horse and that they all don’t have exceptional stamina and power over whiskey dick. But those men aren’t really the ones I see myself dating. Is that wrong?
Now David and I have a couple mutual friends, including a married couple (let’s call them Pam and Tommy.) Well Pam and Tommy were trying to fix me up with a friend of theirs that plays for the New York Rangers hockey team, and we went to see a New York Islanders/New York Rangers hockey game. After a couple beers, Pam and I started telling stories, and I told her what happened when David and I tried to hook up. She laughed and promised to never talk about it with him.
Last night David got a text from Pam, and confessed to me that they have been having an affair. Although they haven’t had sex (supposedly), Pam has been going to see David on Tuesdays, because that’s when her husband is at work. Now Pam is beautiful, but quite the slut. Tommy knows she fucks other guys, but not on a regular basis… and not guys that are 30 years younger than him. He’s fine with the occasional rock star, but I think if he knew about David he’d flip.
On a funnier note, two days ago Pam fucked Bret Michaels! Pam has a history with a lot of rockers, and had the backstage hookup. Big John (Bret’s security) had Pam put her name in a book with about 400 other groupies in case Bret wanted to get in touch next time he was in town. Bret sat down in his tour bus, pulled out a condom, and Pam hopped on it. The two funniest parts of this:
1. When she first got on top of him, he let out this rediculous, low moaning noise, that I think you would have to hear to believe
2. She kept trying to grab his head/neck while they were going at it, and he kept dodging her hands – he didn’t want her to rip out those classy extensions!
So after all that… I’ve come to several conclusions:
1. David is cougaring it up with a married woman
2. I’m re-entering the world of horribleness with my ex
And finally… i think it’s still a mistake, even if you’ve done it already in the past… but hopefully, no one’s keeping track;)
