Pretty Woman is on TV right now and I just could not be happier. I love this movie! Especially when Richard Gere is driving the Lotus through Beverly Hills and “King of Wishful Thinking” is playing! So the title to this post was almost Weird Men I Have Met in New York City vol. 2. Because there’s been a few more…
Today I went deep sea fishing – yeah that’s right, I’m a bad ass bitch! And I caught 8 fish! Not too bad, right? All Fluke. None keepers, New York requires 20 inches, New Jersey only 18! Who knew there were fish in the Hudson River? I even baited my own hook. But lets face it, the fish are never really what it’s about… it’s the fishermen!
So as soon as I stepped on to the boat, I see the most gorgeous guy… he helped me on the boat, part of the crew. I of course expressed my interest to my friends immediately, and they laughed and agreed. Two minutes later, he came over and started talking to me, which continued for the next 5 hours… full of sexual innuendo (hello, it’s a fishing trip, it’s full of sex jokes! for example, “oh, you’ve got a big one,” and “oh yeah baby, handle that rod!”). So I told him he should come out for a little after-fishing beer, and that I would really like to take a swim since it was so hot out. And surprise, his friend has a pool!
We waited for him after we docked and headed over to his friend’s pool, it was amazing! On the roof of his apartment, but I am totally burned and paying for it dearly now. One of the reasons I was so into this guy is that he was so aggressive, but once we got there he just kind of sat there like a … fish.
We headed out and got some dinner, so exhausted. And the bar where we went to get dinner is right across the street from our apartment, and also the location where I met yet another strange man. His name is Steven, the bartender of course. Ahhh, the help again! It just never stops! But he is such a doll… we talked about our dogs, he was so sweet. We texted all night and the next day, when I got this: “There’s just one problem… I’m kind of in a relationship.”
WHAT? You didn’t think this was relevant to tell me when you were telling me how you wanted to see me naked and have me come over? You didn’t think this was relevant to tell me when you were saying sweet dreams baby? Like come on! He then went on to say that he didn’t mean to lead me on, that the relationship had been bad for awhile so I guess I forgot about it. Blah blah fucking blah. It’s bad, I feel so sorry for you. Like what a pain in the ass! Way to waste a good 24 hours of my time crafting cute and coy text responses.
But there is a silver lining… we spent the night hanging out with Nole Marin from America’s Next Top Model! He is an absolute doll! And he talked to my mom for like 10 minutes at 2am, how cute is that? It totally made her sleepless night (thanks to me.) He invited me and Kristen to his party next week, I’ll make sure to take pictures!
